Contrast
by MissingMommy
Summary: Merlin's true emotions are always in direct contrast to the smiles he wears. :: MerlinArthur, soulmate!AU, for Emma.


For Emma. Shout out to Lizzy for looking over this.

* * *

Arthur is barely a five years old when his soulmark first appears. When he shows the dog to Gaius, the physician smiles at him. He looks proudly at Arthur. He sits down at his table and explains soulmates and soulmarks and the colors to Arthur patiently.

Gaius sticks out his wrist for Arthur. There's a fox there, just like Arthur's dog. But instead of a fleshy color inside the black outline, it's a bright green. "She's relaxed," Gaius says. "But the color changes on her mood. Just like yours will when the colors come in."

"Why is yours a fox?"

"It's what represents my soulmate's soul. Many believe that foxes are clever and extremely smart," the physician says.

"And mine?" Arthur asks.

Gaius smiles as he says, "Like dogs, your soulmate is loyal and protective."

Arthur spends every moment he could looking at his mark, waiting for the colors.

* * *

The first thing Arthur knows about his soulmate is that they live in a constant state of fear. The soulmark on his wrist is always this pale, sickly yellow. Sometimes, when he's alone in his chambers, he watches the mark, hoping for some other color.

He gets his wish; sometimes it's a dark blue and other times it'll be a bright, sunshine yellow. But it always returns back to the sickly yellow after a few minutes.

He grows to hate that color.

* * *

His mark itches the day he meets Merlin. To be fair, he reminds himself that there are always new people that show up in Camelot. The itching might be someone else completely, someone who happened to stumble into Camelot the same day as his manservant. There's a part of him that can't help but to try to associate Merlin's arrival with his soulmark itching.

He watches his soulmark closely those first few months. Instead of just the sickly yellow, it flickers dark blue sometimes. It's a direct contrast to the smile that Merlin always seems to wear.

Merlin couldn't possibly be living in fear and sadness, not when he's always so cheerful.

* * *

"It's you," Arthur whispers.

His soulmark is losing the bright green color that it just was, fading to the pale, sickly yellow that it usually is. He wishes that Merlin would feel relaxed like he did moments before, wishes for anything other than the sickly yellow. He spent years hoping that he would meet them, the person that his soulmark represented. He's spent the last few months trying to figure out who caused it to itch. He curses himself for not figuring it out soon.

He watches as Merlin freezes from where he's stroking the fire.

"Sire?" he asks tentatively.

"You're my soulmate," Arthur announces firmly. He continues even though Merlin is just staring at him. "I didn't think it was you at first. It never matched your moods," he says, gesturing to the mark. "Then you went and drank that poison like an idiot. It was grey the entire time you were poisoned. It even briefly went black before the awful yellow came back. That's when I knew for certain."

Merlin turns back towards the fire. "You should forget that you figured it out."

Arthur stands up from the chair he's been sitting in and settles next to Merlin. The other man doesn't bother looking at him. He questions curiously, "Why would I want to do that?"

Merlin snorts. "You're going to be king."

"It may be selfish but I want to marry for love, not politics," he replies.

"Even if you were going to marry for love, you can't marry me," Merlin says, turning to face him. He talks over Arthur's protests. "Disregarding the fact that there is no way of marrying to males, you're going to be _king_. You need an heir at the very least. And, in case you've forgotten, I can't give you that."

"There are other ways of naming heirs," Arthur argues.

Merlin frowns. "So what? You'll name someone else's child your heir and never marry? That's going to cause an uproar with your people and your council."

Arthur searches Merlin's face for anything that betrays his words. "Are you saying you don't want this?"

"Of course I want this," he answers. He shoves the sleeves of his jacket up, revealing the lion on his wrist. It's mimicking Arthur's frustration and happiness. "But you have to think of your people."

He can't stop himself from reaching out and tracing the black outline of the lion. "You've known I was your soulmate and you still said nothing."

"You have your people to think about," Merlin counters, shrugging. He pulls his wrist back from Arthur, pulling down his jacket sleeve to cover the lion.

"I am thinking about my people," he assures the other man. "I'll be a better king if I'm happy." When Merlin looks unconvinced, he sighs. "I would like to see where this goes before we both dismiss it. I think we both owe it to ourselves. Don't you?"

"Sometimes you make sense," Merlin teases, a smile tugging at his lips. "But I suppose you are right."

Arthur can't do anything but grin. His happiness doesn't fade as he watches as Merlin stands and bids him a good night. He uncovers his soulmark. It's flickering between sickly yellow and dark blue. Eventually, he's going to get Merlin to tell him what he's so afraid of.

He looks forward to the day it becomes pink with love.


End file.
